No Lays: My Game is not callibrated for Germany

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I hope English is fine by you. I am studying in Germany, but my German is still very basic. My study course is in English.

I've been reading pick up material for quite some time, and started approaching somewhat regularly last year. At least, it started last year, as far as Germany is concerned. I learned most of my game from places like Heartiste, YaReally, Krauser, David X, and Real Social Dynamics. I used to be a regular poster on The Red Pill subreddit, back around the time it started.

So the reason for this thread is that I feel that my game is not callibrated for Germany. I get numbers easily, and have gotten a few make outs, but no lays yet.

If it means anything, I game in Bremen and some neighboring towns.

Most of the girls who do give me their numbers just don't reply at all. I don't just go up and ask for their number. I approach, we talk, and then try to go for an instadate (hasn't happened yet), and if that can't work, I suggest we meet up for coffee/drinks/a walk soon. If they agree, then we exchange numbers, or I take theirs.

After that, I usually get nothing.

I get the impression that girls get a "player vibe" from me (the irony!) simply because I approached them, and then they don't know what to make of it. It also seems that the girls in the Bremen/OL area are very relationship oriented and kind of conservative, compared to say, your average American girl. Which is not a bad thing, just that it makes direct game inappropriate.

All of the girls I made out with, with the exception of one, were girls I pulled out of a club. Those were not many. Three or four, at most. The other one was a girl from another city who had some stuff to do here, and we went on a "mini date". She invited me to come visit her at her place, then we made out, and then not much happened. Too many logistical issues, this likely won't happen, but I'll still try to hit her up again when my schedule opens up.

Also, it could also be that not having a smart phone (and therefore, WhatsApp) was a problem. I installed it on my tablet the other day, and tried hitting up some of those numbers that never responded. One did, and she seemed quite into me. I am away on holiday, so nothing I can do about this.

So anyway, that's about it. If there are any specific questions you'd like to ask, go ahead.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Vielen Dank!

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I think you'll need to provide more information about your game, and at which point it fails.

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I mostly do day game. I'll approach, we'll talk for some time. I see IOIs. We keep talking. In theory, everything looks fine. I try to instadate. This hasn't happened yet. So I suggest we meet soon. We exchange numbers, and then I never hear from them again. This is where it fails.

In night game, I am slightly more aggressive (think RSDJulien/Steve Jabba type stuff). We talk, if things are going well, we make out. Beyond that, what usually happens is they either have friends they can't seem to leave. Or if we exchange numbers, I never hear from them again.

I've been told girls in the Oldenburg/Bremen area are more conservative and frigid. They seem very suspcious when I approach in the day time. At least, my rejections have all been very polite, along the lines of "Sorry, but I'm not interested" or "Thank you, but I have a boyfriend", or them just politely excusing themselves. Most day approaches I do end up in a small conversation right after that "suspicion barrier" is passed, and 3 times out 5, I get a number.

But as I found out, getting numbers doesn't mean much.

Maybe I just need to approach more. I don't know.

bearbeitet von Ulver

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I've been told girls in the Oldenburg/Bremen area are more conservative and frigid.

Well I know some girls from there and they're anything else than conservative.

It seems like your game is missing comfort. That's the reason club game works (kind of), because that's a high energy field where you can base your game on attraction and nearly nothing less.

In Daygame, you generally generate a lot of attraction through the direct approach itself but in the follow up, you have to avoid a 'player'image and make sure the girls feel comfy with you.

But in general, daygame has a some kind of lower success-rate, because German girls aren't used to be approached on the streets. Depends on the Player of course ;)

I hope, you understood my messy English ;)

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Yeah I would say your game is lacking Qualification and Comfort. When the girl is home she does not really feel the attraction anymore and when you did not build any connection through comfort there is just nothing left that she lets to feel feel to want to see you again. Also show with Qualification that you have standards and dont just go out with anyone. Let her work and invest, too so its also more memorable for her.

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God, your English is more than just fine. If anything, I really appreciate it that the members were nice enough to respond in English. I think that my basic German limits somewhat, game wise.

Aber, wann ich nach Deutschland wieder gehen, wurde ich ein A2 Intensivkurs abschließen. Es wird nicht genug für "gaming", aber hoffentlich es wird genug fur "rapport".

Best case scenario, I'm learning German, haha.

But I digress.

Yeah, I think you're right. That's something I've been working on for a while now. But I gotta say, my day time approaches are not very high energy "fun fun fun". They're usually pretty chill, and I do try to look for signals to attempt build a connection. I guess some girls are just polite and just happy to talk, but not sexually available.

ALSO: Are there any cities you think I should hit up that might be easier game-wise (I'll have weekends free in September)? Where maybe the girls are more slutty or open. I heard the east in general was a good spot for this, especially Berlin. But I think that might be a bit too intense for me. So maybe some place smaller, like Leipzig, maybe? I heard Cologne was also a good spot to hit up.

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Cologne is a very bad spot. You find PUAs all the way up from "Hauptbahnhof" to "Schildergassse" These hotspots are kind of "overgamed". I see the same PUAs every fuckin day.

In my opinion comfort is more important than attraction in street game.

Many girls don´t like that hard and direct player style.

If you just want to fuck, for Clubgame you should act as aggressive as possible and try to Isolate your girls fast. After that everything is possible.

Don´t Forget about logistics. An ideal Location is worth more than a good Club.

Add compliance and qualification to your game, if missing.

Sorry for my spelling, it is because of fuckin autokorrektur.

bearbeitet von pato
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Yeah, in my town, I live about fifteen minutes from the city by bike, which while not bad, is not ideal. On a short trip to another city, I'll make sure to get a hostel or something that is close to the clubs.

Will work on that. Been playing a bit more with qualification through WhatsApp. Kind of funny how I sort of "lost" the basics with time. Spent so much time reading up on another stuff (especially "manosphere blogs") that you tend to forget the essentials. I am pretty big on "natural" game, but that's no excuse to just be winging it.

Thanks for the heads up about Köln. Are there any spots you'd recommend for a weekend trip? Kiel? Wismar? Osnabruck? Dresden? Leipzig? Frankfurt? I dunno!

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Hey there!

Some things I could think of:

First: Do you send a "ping" Short Message right after (meaning same day, but about 2h later) you got the number? Turned out that was a big point for a fellow day-game friend of mine.

Second: Your looks? Are you looking fine, normal, peacocked?

Third: Your screening? What kind of girls do you approach? I dont know how it is in US (where are you from anyway?) but I get the impression that in germany the "open" girls are more often then less the more plain looking ones while the "pumped up" girls often only seek attention and usally dont have much sex at all. Just get clear that without makeup and naked most of them are still pretty damn awesome ;)

Fourth: Are you playing your cards well? Why are you in germany? You say women get the "player impression" of you. While that at first is of cours just a shittest, you can work with it later on. Why waste time pretending you want a relationship when you can screen girls up for simple sex fast with this image? Cliches often work a lot better then expected, so maybe try going with the "sex with foreigner adventure" frame ;) I think germans dont go well with "white lies" they are just too much moral-believing to deal with it. Try honesty instead sometimes and youll be suprised.

Best regards,

Antidote

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Gast Hoodseam

In night game, I am slightly more aggressive (think RSDJulien/Steve Jabba type stuff). We talk, if things are going well, we make out. Beyond that, what usually happens is they either have friends they can't seem to leave. Or if we exchange numbers, I never hear from them again.

Focus on that. Focus on separation and escalation and SNL.

Try to get the girls into your frame. The easy going US frame. Where the girls just hang out with the guys. Don't date. If location does not work, make a NC. Tell her, she is a cool girl. Different to the other boring german girls. Ask her to hang out. Go to a club with her. No problems with separation, cause she's alone with you. Focus on escalation and logistics...

Be more aggressive. Give her a good feeling.

Do qualifying. Make her act like a "cool" girl.

bearbeitet von Hoodseam

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Hey Antidote and Hoodseam,

1) At first, I would wait ~2 days before replying, but then I read a post by Good Looking Loser, and he advocates sending a text right after meeting them or a few hours after. His reasoning is that they still feel postive things about you right then, so you might as well capitalise on that. So that's what I do now.

With that *one* girl I mentioned making out with after the "mini date", I texted her right after meeting, and she responded shortly after. She always responded very quickly. After our "mini date", we spoke on the phone 2-3 times for ~10 minutes. She the one with all the logistical issues; she likes me, but clearly has other priorities. On the date, right before we made out, she told me to come visit her in her town, and then conveniently, in the week I was supposed to come, she forgot her phone at a friend's place, and then in the coming weeks both of us were busy. I still had exams, and she had work, and then she went to travel with her friends. And now I'm back in my home country. I hope we can meet after, as this seemed like a sure thing. We sent a few WhatsApp messages, she sent a picture, and then she stopped responding. So not sure what to make of this. It was just small talk, mind.

2) I'd say I look fine. I'm not jacked or anything, but I work out. I went from "concentration camp skinny" to "normal looking. As in, from 60 kg to 77 kg, and I'm 1.93m. Not ripped by any stretch, but my top 2 abs are visible. Clothing wise, I wear dark blue/indigo jeans, oxford shirts in white/blue, a field jacket, and leather shoes. When it's colder, I layer with a v-neck sweater or cardigan. Next purchases are "work boots" and more sweaters and shirts. And peacocking wise, I think a ring and bracelet are in order. I can't decide on anything though.

More objectively, I guess I can talk about Tinder matches? In Oldenburg, I rarely get matches, but that is more due to few people using it. I was in Hamburg for two days, and liked almost every girl I saw on Tinder, and got ~5 matches. Hope that gives you an idea.

3) I usually approach the best looking girls I see. In my experience, the 6-7s usually have bigger bitch shields. The better looking they are, the more open they are to me. Most of the positive reactions I got (i.e, nice interaction, numbers, or make outs) were generally from the better looking girls.

4) That's a valid point. I gamed very regularly between October and January (I'm a student, and will be in Germany for *at least* another 2 years - but I am thinking of doing an erasmus in the Netherlands or Poland), and after that, I guess I burnt out. Back then my screening SUCKED. Now it's gotten much better. I think I will have better results because of this.

One other thing is that after not getting any results for so long, I started thinking that maybe I should just slow down, and try a more "nice guy" angle, but all in all, I think both of you are right. I'm wasting my time with that. Might as well screen for girls who are DTF.

Again, can either of you recommend some cities/towns I can try to hit up? I think I'm in need of someone who's more experienced than I am to help me out. I live in OL, but I have no problem travelling a hundred kilometres or two away, if it means I can improve my game. Or at the very least, have a fun night out or two. :-) :-)

Does the forum here do meet ups? I understand that my poor German is a big obstacle.

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You got 5 matches on Tinder in Hamburg???????

Do you sweep everything right, or only the most beautiful Girls?

Still this statistic is shit. I live in the middle of nowhere and get hundrets of matches.

There is a Video on YouTube called "how to fuck Girls on tinder"

look for it. i can´t send link right now. not everything he says is working for Germany, but the part about Pictures.

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In your OP you wrote that you get numbers easily but then usually no reply at all.
First thought that crossed my mind was that some girls might feel uncomfortable that they'd have to speak English with you. That applies for text/phone conversation after the NC as well as for a potential date. Easier for them to stay in their comfort zone and boom you're out.

Second thing is that as a student in a foreign country you presumably try to make new friends or build up/integrate into a social circle. Therefore - especially in the first weeks/months you tend to be - I guess one could call it 'situational needy' since you lack friends/social contacts etc. Girls you approach might smell some kinda neediness simply cause of your situation (no matter whether it's justified or not!) which in the end adds up to not responding even if potentially interested.
If you want to stick to daygame it might help to invite her to a "BBQ tomorrow in the park, will be there with some friends, you should come by and have a beer, yeah sure bring a friend", keep it easygoing and establish more comfort/personal connection before aiming for a 1 on 1 appointment. Other than that I agree with Hoodseam. Don't go for classic dates but rather invite her to hang out/join a club night (even with friends) and use the right moment to isolate/escalate.

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I thought the same thing: they are probably just shy about having to speak and text in English and fear making mistakes. Bacause sometimes Germans tend to think that they are not good enough in one thing, if they do not do it perfectly.

You will just have to be extra nice about it, so that they stop or do not beginn feeling insecure.

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