How to learn this game (even on your own) Melde Dich an, um diesen Inhalt zu abonnieren 0

[Gast B-Flex]

How to learn this game (even on your own)

There are two adaption processes. Both are crucial.

One is easy, the second is hard.

The first starts when you enter the club.

It is a completely different environment than before. Loud hectic club VS. chill comfy home environment. Anxiety rises.

It is easy to adapt because you can just stand there and wait. After 5 to 10 minutes your brain accepts it and relaxes. Your brain is now OK with the environment because it sees that there is no immediate danger as long as you are not taking action in some way that puts the attention on you.

The only thing left which raises anxiety is creating social attention/pressure.

(Example: You feel comfortable standing or walking in the club, but thinking about dancing or talking to somebody makes you uncomfortable)

The second adaption process comes with building social momentum.

This part is crucial because if you are not putting that pressure onto you, your brain adapts further into the specator-mode, where it is more like being a ghost which can only see whats going on but not affect/be affected.

When you take the action the brain starts adepting again. This process can ONLY start when you are actually talking to somebody or proactively do something that puts attention on you. Every thought in your head, NEGATIVE or POSITIVE, makes no difference to your state. (Proof, not promises)

Whatever the outcome of the initial action, the brain activates personality parts that have the ressources to cope with social pressure.

Rejection no longer is something that has to be avoided by any means. It just becomes what it is, useless information. You become "free out outcome".

The more evidence and momentum your brain gets, the more stable your social-personality will be.

In the short term, more action will raise self confidence and boldness.

In the long term, more action builds the social-personality-part, so that the next time you go out, your brain activates faster.

Be aware! It activates faster, but the activation must be initiated.

As you see, there are two hills to climb. Make it easier for yourself and climb them one after another.

Making a commitment to approach the first girl you see in the club is great, but the chance, that the pressure before going out fucks you up and you wind up staying at home, is higher.

Consistency is more important than anything in this game. You can rule one night, but unless you go out and try it consistently, that one night doesnt add much to your progress.

"90% of success is just showing up"

Getting out there is the first hill. Building momentum is the second. Both are equally important.

Learn to climb the first consistently.

Once you have built a comfort zone at the new environment that your brain can adapt into consistently, you can better focus on the second hill.

When you have mastered the two adaption processes, the real learning begins.

You can now focus on building your charisma. Your game becomes solid.

You are icy, relaxed and free --- you become "who you are".

Thanks for reading. Please comment.

This is my best advice on how to learn this game - especially when you are all on your own.

Thanks for reading. Please comment.

This is my best advice on how to learn this game - especially when you are all on your own.

[Gast Aurelia]

Ist zwar aus meiner Sicht nichts wirklich Neues, aber es kann ja nie schaden, sich das ab und zu mal ins Gedächtnis zu rufen, um z.B. mit körperlichen Symptomen in Angstsituationen besser umzugehen oder auch einfach nur zu wissen, dass das, was man durchmacht, normal ist und es anderen Leuten genauso geht.

Da gerade in diesem Bereich oft auch wirklich junge Leute lesen, wäre es vielleicht ganz gut gewesen, das auf Deutsch zu posten, damit es ihnen auch wirklich helfen kann.

[Gast]

Hey B-Flex, interesting facts you share with us right there !

Regarding confidence, wouldn´t it be the best for you to simply enter the club with high energy level, heading for the bar and then just calm down, relax and - first - observe the sets?

With observing I mean checking the girls for IOI ´s ( for example you smile, and they smile back, they pretend to look at you, full body exposal towards you ).

After you got IOI´s, you approach direct , find out what their intentions are ( who she is with, what shes doing later on etc ) followed by S&A stuff

To me, this is the key to confidence and a high energy level the whole night , because :

Getting rejected by sets who arent interested in you anyway ( which you dont know because you didnt screen them ) - this will fuck up your whole night at the very beginning till end

So better screning here, less approaches, less sets to be rejected off - less fucked up state of mind - High Enery Level and confidence

I think doing the opposite ( and this is what most guys do in clubs ) is just go crazy ; like a Sniper trying to shoot as much targets as possible

What are your thoughts on this?

Januar 24, 2012 bearbeitet von Gast

[Gast B-Flex]

Hey B-Flex, interesting facts you share with us right there !

Regarding confidence, wouldn´t it be the best for you to simply enter the club with high energy level, heading for the bar and then just calm down, relax and - first - observe the sets?

With observing I mean checking the girls for IOI ´s ( for example you smile, and they smile back, they pretend to look at you, full body exposal towards you ).

After you got IOI´s, you approach direct , find out what their intentions are ( who she is with, what shes doing later on etc ) followed by S&A stuff

To me, this is the key to confidence and a high energy level the whole night , because :

Getting rejected by sets who arent interested in you anyway ( which you dont know because you didnt screen them ) - this will fuck up your whole night at the very beginning till end

So better screning here, less approaches, less sets to be rejected off - less fucked up state of mind - High Enery Level and confidence

I think doing the opposite ( and this is what most guys do in clubs ) is just go crazy ; like a Sniper trying to shoot as much targets as possible

What are your thoughts on this?

Hi SyrusBaxxter,

thanks for commenting!

I definitely am not screening for IOIs anymore. It makes you reactive to the girl when you really should be proactive. That means, having your own fun, self-amusement (which is quite hard when out solo, but possible) and then approaching the girl you like, depending on her looks or some attractive quality, not depending on the signals she is giving off to you. Signals are also very subjective, and i found, that many girls only seem to be giving off negative signals, but when you approach them they actually are super friendly.

You will quickly find out if she is interested or not, especially if you are very direct in your speech, BL and voice, which i recommend in a club.

Even further, if you screen for IOIs you probably wont get them from too many girls and you now loose the nice fact that you choose your girls. Opportunities fly by. For example, most of my sets are girls that wander by and I saw them out of the corner of my eye and I immediately grab them. There is no chance for her to signal me anything, its just me up in her face, she either likes it or not.

In conclusion I wouldnt recommend a newbie to observe. It gets him too far into his head, especially if he is reactive to any signals from girls - which mostly will be interpretated as negative, and soon the newbie stops approaching at all because of catastrophic thinking.

As a newbie I recommend as many sets as possible, just to get a lot of reference experiences under his belt, but he should have his focus on some crucial principles (Principles demand a whole new article - ask for it and I'll deliver)

You are right, that the state is very unstable when you do tons of sets and that many guys go cracy in a club. Especially when you come off as dancing monkey. It gives you good reactions initially but in the end you have to realize the girls just enjoyed your high energy vibe. What happens when you date those girls or extract them to a couch in the club and the interaction becomes more chill? You cant rely on your high energy anymore and your confidence goes down because you probably have no positive reference experiences in a chill atmossphere. You fall out of state and the girl sees you are fake. Game over.

What I recommend to do, is going up to girls completely congruent - i.e. who you are at the core. Take a "real man's blowout" so to speak. Let her judge you solely based on your real character. Even if that means that you walk up in a shit mood with no social momentum at the beginning of the night and just put that out there. Your rejections may go up initially, but the sets you hook go a lot better.

If the girl rejects you, you just prove that you are a real man who can take it, that you have no ego about how fucking cool and pimp you are. If you reframe it that way, you feel better, state goes up.

If she likes you, that does amazing things to you. You now have a reference point that girls like you just for you! State goes up.

The state you build will be a much more stable state, which is based on your selfesteem, instead of a highenergy drug-type state. The best way to describe it is: Imaging a searing hot coal vs. a raging wildfire.

One will keep warm for a long time, the other has extrem heat but vanishes fast.

When you do this, you will discover that girls dont expect much of you. They dont need high energy. They want to see if you are the man that you are projecting. If you go out and push yourself into a highenergy mode, she will find out at some point, that you are not that guy in your everyday life. It is a form of approval seeking when you actively put yourself in a state that you think girls like.

If you walk up 100% congruent and the set hooks, there is nothing to lie about. You can be completely relaxed. With time you will learn to rely on your congruent personality and you can literally walk up with NOTHING preplanned in you head. It becomes a magic thing, and thats the time when all the results will come in.

I hope I gave you some good information on your comment!